Wednesday, September 24, 2008

But for the joy...

Girltalk has a great post today about how we deal with interruptions. In it, they quote C.S. Lewis:
“The great thing, if one can, is to stop regarding all the unpleasant things as interruptions of one’s ‘own,’ or ‘real’ life. The truth is of course that what one calls the interruptions are precisely one’s real life—the life God is sending one day by day; what one calls one’s ‘real life’ is a phantom of one’s own imagination. This at least is what I see at moments of insight: but it’s hard to remember it all the time.” The Quotable Lewis, (Wheaton, Ill.: Tyndale House Publishers, 1989), 335.

I've been thinking about some similar issues lately. With a baby not sleeping well the last few nights (read: weeks), I'm tired. Being in my first trimester, my body obviously needs extra rest, and often, I'm not feeling so well throughout the day. It's easy for me to start thinking about things temporally, and in doing so, I get grouchy. And defensive. And irritable. And before anyone says, "Well, maybe you just have too many kids...", let's just say, don't go there. But that's another story for another day.

Now, I know that in some ways, this is just a season. First trimesters are usually hard on me. My house is usually a wreck during this time. During this time, food is a whimsical obsession that both tempts me regularly and also leaves me completely disgusted at the concept of preparation and thus calling my husband pleading for take-out. Tired, I can get easily frustrated with the noise levels that often seem to erupt from my four "four and under".

More importantly, though, my bad attitude signals the smallness of my brain. Instead of seeing the magnitude of God's love, grace, and provision in all these events, I focus on my selfish destructive desires that are being thwarted.

My house is a wreck, but God's grace is sufficient. He has already covered all my sins by surrendering His perfect Son to the hands of sinful men to be sacrificed on the cross. Though I desire to be perfected, I don't have to be perfect. And I certainly don't have to live up to random societal expectations when God has already fulfilled within me, through faith in Jesus, all that is needed for me to be able to spend eternity with Him in heaven.

God gave me the best husband in the whole world as the (well, almost) perfect companion to navigate this season in our lives. He's sweet, he's faithful, he desires more than anything to be the man that God created him to be, all the while trusting in the finished work of Christ on the cross, and he lovingly cares for me and our children in my weakness. He even graciously picks up In-n-Out for us to get me out of preparing that dinner that I was just obsessing about.

God has created four beautiful children, and is currently forming another in my womb, that are regularly sweet, hilarious, adorable, cuddly reminders of how worth it any physical discomforts might be as we wait for this next child to be introduced to our family. Each one adds a dynamic to our family that we could not have imagined, yet God did. Truly, we have so much for which to be thankful. I LOVE my kids. I thank God that He knows, so much better than my small little selfish brain, what is best! And I thank Him for giving David and I the grace and ability to welcome these little ones into this world. This alone is nothing short of a miracle. The fact that God so chose to create these precious eternal souls through us is nothing short of mind-boggling.

And on top of all that, He gave me four sleeping children that have allowed for the time for me to sit in front of this computer and type up all these ramblings AND eat lunch! How amazing is that?

Even with seeing all this, I know that my vision is so limited in what God is doing. And it leaves me begging, "God, let me see more of You. Regularly remind me that You are so much bigger than my small focus. Change me into the image of your Son, that I might love my husband, my children, my family, and this world through Your eyes and with the desire to see Your kingdom come on earth as it is in heaven!"


Stacy said...

a hearty AMEN!

Sharon said...

Thanks for letting us into your brain and heart with such an honest and transparent post!

Whatever our "real life" is, we know it's from God and for our good!!!

Here's to welcoming the blessings of God, even if they come with interruptions and difficulties.

Nora :) said...

Amazing post. Thank you.

You need to write more. :)

Jodi said...

thanks for sharing your heart! i love to hear it! be blessed today, christina! i love your heart for your children and your ability to be okay when it all (like your house) is not picked up.... messy house. i have decided that messy houses are just part of the way it is when you have kids. when they grow up it will all be and all. i'm so glad you let them play and cuddle!

Anonymous said...

Great quote and great post, Christina! It was a good thing to have on my mind at work today, since it seems like the doorbell to the department rang 3x as much as normal, and I'm the one who gets 'interrupted' to jump up and open it!

Anonymous said...

I praise God for your faithfulness. Thanks for the encouragement.